Okay. It’s been far too long. Actually, the only reason I’m typing is because I have some (probably inaccurate) notion that putting this out in front of me will help me regulate food shit. Over winter break, I got back down to 95 lbs. It felt terrific! Food wasn’t dictating where I would go, I wasn’t hovering around the kitchen 24/7. I basically felt like I had more of a life. Apparently my body wasn’t liking it too much though. Sometime around Jan. 4, about the same time I banished all sugar as part of my new year’s resolution (which is actually being followed, believe it or not), the good habit I’d gotten into turned a bit indulgent. I didn’t really care. The chips and cheese where there and I thought, “Hey, why not? I haven’t had nachos in a while.” And then for the next few days I kept it regular. An apple for breakfast, nachos for lunch, and whatever for dinner. Snacks… food in general, was nicely ignorable until sometime around 3 in the afternoon, fighting achy fingers from guitar and a rumbly tummy, and even then, I didn't enjoy it, it didn't taste good, so I didn't obsess over it.
It’s not that I’m not eating healthy, I’m just eating too many starchy, fatty, very caloric foods. Like Kettle Chips, and nachos made with parmesan, (parmesan = love) and yes, again, believe it or not: The girl who refuses to eat ice cream and butter is completely captivated by ……(wait for it)….. coconut milk. 120 calories per 60 grams. Not bad? They’re all from fat. 35% daily intake of saturated, and 11% of daily fat in general. And after dinner tonight, I had about ¾ of a 600 gram can.
Mhm. I do believe I’m pushing it. Especially considering I have an event in 2 days that I don’t want to appear particularly bulgy for. At least this kind of binge makes you so sick of the food that even thinking abut it makes your mouth water in disgust. Definitely a good thing. So, my main goal for the next few days: work on not eating unless actually hungry and DRINK WATER, damnit!
Meal plan time.
B – (if hungry, not likely considering the coconut milk) ¼ cup oatmeal/1.5 oranges
L – apple, carrots, maybe chili with rice
D – whatever’s made
Extras – Chai tea, frozen berries/mango after dinner
B – see above, maybe cereal
L – oranges (1 – 2 if not part of breakfast), apple (if actually in the house), whatever else I can find and feel like.
D – broccoli, whatever else is on.
Extras – something quick digesting for before yoga, chai tea, frozen berries/mango
Jan. 18 (event day)
B – depending if hungry
L – scrounge-able fruit and veggies, maybe corn flakes
D – probably some sort of salad, depending on where I am.
Extras – chai tea